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Posted: February 13, 2014 in Creative
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Late For Work? I Can Help…

Posted: March 5, 2013 in Creative
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LaughingHorseAccording to recent CareerBuilder survey, traffic is the most common cause of employee tardiness, followed by other run-of-the-mill excuses like bad weather or dropping the kids off at daycare. The survey, which was conducted among more than 2,600 hiring managers and 3,900 workers nationwide, also asked participants to share the most memorable excuses for being tardy they’ve ever heard. Check out the full report to find out what some of the most outlandish were:

CHICAGO, February 7, 2013 – Frozen car keys, a functionally fashionable cement duck, and coin-operated newspaper machines top this year’s list of most outrageous excuses for arriving to work late, according to a new CareerBuilder study. More than a quarter (26 percent) of workers admit to being tardy at least once a month, and 16 percent are late once a week or more.

Traffic is the most common culprit causing tardiness according to 31 percent of workers. Other factors include lack of sleep, the need to drop off the kids at daycare or school, bad weather and public transportation delays.

Not all employees blame jammed roads. Hiring managers shared some of the most memorable excuses they’ve heard from employees who were late getting to the office, including:

· Employee dropped her purse into a coin-operated newspaper box and couldn’t retrieve it without change (which was in the purse)

· Employee accidentally left the apartment with his roommate’s girlfriend’s shoes on and had to go back to change

· Employee’s angry wife had frozen his truck keys in a glass of water in the freezer

· Employee got a late start because she was putting a rain coat on her cement duck in her front yard (because rain was expected later that day)

· Employee’s car wouldn’t start because the breathalyzer showed he was intoxicated

· Employee attempted to cut his own hair before work and the clippers stopped working, so he had to wait until the barber shop opened to fix his hair

· Employee’s car was attacked by a bear (had photographic evidence)

· Employee drove to her previous employer by mistake

· Employee claimed to have delivered a stranger’s baby on the side of the highway

What Ever Works!!!!!

Bush Has Been Flipping Off People For 8 Years!!!

OK, not Dubbya, but a guy’s shrubbery in England!

Dateline: Somewhere in England

A bush carved into the shape of a middle-finger has landed a gardener into trouble after somebody failed to share his humour over the shrub. The council received a complaint about the shaped bush eight years after it was carved by Richard Jackson, 53, in his front garden. Despite only receiving one complaint, the council have since contacted Richard to alter the bush as it is considered a public offence. But Richard, from Tamworth, Staffs, said his neighbours are backing his pledge to keep the bush and they have even began a Save the Bush campaign to support him. Credit: Caters News

OMG, after 8 years, one jerk is “offended”. Well tough shit, this is FUNNY. Get a life!

You may never drink milk again.

I’m at a loss for words. I’ve had milk or whatever I was drinking come flying out of my nose after a great joke, but never out of my eye!

The video is FUNNY and GROSS.

Watch If You Dare!

Video brought to you by the American Dairy Association

Sets a world record with an 18.1 second burp!

His handle should be “Deep Throat”

This reporter, through an undisclosed source, was told his next challenge will be the Longest Fart.

Now that will impress a woman!

Hey Dude!!!!! A Strip Club is not BYOP!!!!

When Everett Lages tried to bring a kitten into a strip club last week, he was refused entry. The Bouncer told him, “Unless that cat can pole dance, we’ve got enough Pussy in here already!”. Undaunted, the drunk Lages called 911 for help.

Police were not amused.

After placing Lages in a cab to take him home, Lages continued calling 911 and refused to tell the Cabbie where he lived.

An arrest soon followed.