With COVID-19 going around it’s understandable that many are not as promiscuous as they once were.
Of course this presents a problem………. Hornosis, a condition causing Musthavesexism which causes bluing of testicles and depression.
There is an Ohio man, James O’Keefe, 53, that would have none of that.
Still concerned of contracting the virus, he came up with a fool-proof solution.
He volunteers in an animal shelter which provided him with the perfect opportunity. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Shortly after O’Keefe became sick with………COVID-19. In the hospital he claims he was unaware at the time that domestic pets such as cats and dogs could transmit the virus.
In a Public Service Announcement he told reporters, “I want the word to get out that having sex with domestic pets during the coronavirus pandemic could have dramatic consequences for your health and that of your loved ones,”
So having sex with animals is OK, just don’t do it during the coronavirus pandemic. Good advice, I guess.
I Love You Mommy
Those are the words you hear so often between a Son and his Mom.
From a little boy to his final moments at her gravesite it’s truly heartfelt.
The son’s wife caught her 43-year-old husband and mother-in-law in flagrante delicto (Latin for Big No No) on the living room couch.
The wife’s cousin had walked in on the son sexually penetrating his mother on the living room couch. The mom was said to be on top. I’d say they were both as far down as you can go to the bottom of gross.
Reports show that the son said to a Massachusetts police officer who asked how he possibly could have committed incest with his mom, “Uh I don’t know. It just happened.”
A 20 year old woman was found unresponsive and not breathing by paramedics responding to a 911 call in the town of Southfield. All manner of resuscitation was done but to no avail.
She was taken to the local funeral home.
As preparations of the body were being made one of the funeral home’s staff members yelled……………
Apparently the on scene paramedics had been distracted while “examining” the woman’s body and didn’t hear her moaning.
Be Careful About Who You Visit and
DON’T ASK FOR A GLASS OF WATER!
There’s a boyfriend & girlfriend living in a house where at night the boyfriend has a habit of pissing in the bedroom.
Not in the bed. Not in the room. Not in the closet…..But in a drinking glass left on the nightstand.
This Pisstard is too lazy to get his sorry ass out of bed and go to the bathroom and piss in the toilet.
He finally did stop this practice after one night his girlfriend, thirsty and half asleep, picked up the full glass and …………
He is expected to have a full recovery after receiving several lacerations from broken glass.
Challenging what he described as the societal “brainwashing” done by the beauty industry, he gathered self described models, then convinced them to save money on shaving products.
He proclaimed: “The whole point is contrast between fashionable female beauty and the raw unconventional look of female armpit hair.”
Yes. it’s true. The vivacious and mother of our Presidential Messiah apparently is not the Virgin Mary reincarnated.
Photo Timeline: High School Photo > After That > Getting Ready > Wild Thing!
In the middle bottom photo I can’t tell if the other person is a man or woman. Either way, No Way. The last is apparently her as a Christmas gift. I think I see a Christmas tree and gifts in the background.
Thanks to Last American Patriots for ruining my dinner.
Gentil Ramirez , alias Genital Raminherz, of Gigante (real name), Colombia, took so much Viagra that he ended up needing surgery on his penis.While multiple media outlets initially reported that the 66-year-old’s penis was amputated, Ramirez told Colombian newspaper La Nacion Thursday that his manhood is still intact.
He wanted to impress his wife, so he took far more of the blue pills than recommended. He had an erection for several days before he sought medical attention.
Doctors say that his penis was inflamed, fractured, and infected with gangrene. The mangled member required invasive surgery in order to keep gangrene from spreading to the rest of his body.
Nevertheless, Ramirez “is recovering well,” doctors told La Nacion.
RidiculousHumor 