Archive for July, 2012

Bush Has Been Flipping Off People For 8 Years!!!

OK, not Dubbya, but a guy’s shrubbery in England!

Dateline: Somewhere in England

A bush carved into the shape of a middle-finger has landed a gardener into trouble after somebody failed to share his humour over the shrub. The council received a complaint about the shaped bush eight years after it was carved by Richard Jackson, 53, in his front garden. Despite only receiving one complaint, the council have since contacted Richard to alter the bush as it is considered a public offence. But Richard, from Tamworth, Staffs, said his neighbours are backing his pledge to keep the bush and they have even began a Save the Bush campaign to support him. Credit: Caters News

OMG, after 8 years, one jerk is “offended”. Well tough shit, this is FUNNY. Get a life!

Humor: Not Today

Posted: July 20, 2012 in Crime, Police, Scare
Tags: , ,

Today my heart, prayers, and thoughts are with the victims’ families from last night’s horrific massacre.

Nothing can help me or anyone understand WHY!

This monster has taken the lives of 12 people, including children. An additional 58 are in severe to critical condition.

James Holmes was packing as many as 6,000 rounds, police say, in a Colorado movie theater shooting spree that left 12 dead and 58 wounded, and authorities have yet to enter his apartment over fears it is booby-trapped.

I will not post the photo of this animal that’s been on the television news and internet. I’m sure you’ve seen it. It sickens me to see this grinning, twisted psychopath.

I’ll end with the hope that all will join me in prayer and support for all those affected.

BC

I’m Going To HELL!!!!

For this picture, that is. But seriously (Am I ever serious?), here’s the story…………

Eastern religions, yoga, vegetarianism and meditation are just a few of the so-called “hobbies” that may lead to demonic possession, according to a list that was allegedly distributed by a fundamentalist group outside Comic-Con 2012.

A photo of the pamphlet was posted to the online image board MyBroadband by a user called “DJ” on July 17. It then quickly circulated around the Internet.

“Beloved, do not take part in any of these components of Satan’s Spiritual Structure,” the pamphlet reads. “They are doorways to demonic possession.”

 

Oddly, many traditional sins are absent from the list.

“But gluttony, greed and hatred are still OK.

Fornication? Yep, I’m Going To HELL!!!!!!!

You’re Supposed To Shoot Your Wad, Not Shoot The Wad Maker!!!!

Saturday was a bad day for Tavares Donnell Colbert. The 36-year-old Oklahoma man accidentally shot himself in the genitals, and then got arrested for it.

He’s a convicted felon. No no to having a gun!

Cops met up with Colbert — a convicted drug dealer out of Watonga — at a hospital at about 9 a.m. Colbert allegedly told officers that he found the gun somewhere in Kansas and had plans to sell it at a convenience store.

When he pulled over his truck that morning to make sure the gun worked, he found out that it did. He took a round to his groin, panicked and drove to the hospital.

This is one dumb MF!!!!

Jonah Falcon, Man With World’s Biggest Penis

Seems every guy that has a large weapon of mass conception is not very good-looking. Take Porn Star Ron Jeremy for instance. God must do some kind of balancing thing to make up for the looks department.

Though The Guinness Book of World Records does not have a category for penises, I think they should. And if they did, there should also be a category for the smallest penis.

Here’s my nomination.

And The Pussy Stayed With Him All The Way Back To The Office!

OK, this is a true story. Funny and weird as hell. The guy is a co-worker. Here’s his story.

This morning on my drive to work, I was shocked to see a little black kitten in the middle of 85-North. This was during normal morning-rush-hour traffic—six lanes of cars packed tight and moving briskly and steadily toward the downtown Atlanta exits. I couldn’t believe my eyes! She was walking in the middle of the middle lane. I slowed way down, with cars honking and maneuvering around me. I couldn’t afford to stop for more than a second or two, unsure of what to do (I couldn’t stop and get out, or there would be an accident). Then I slowly moved forward, hoping my car was moving over her, rather than—well, rather than moving over her. I called 911 to report a live animal on 85. It was very unnerving. The best I could hope for was a nearby police officer or HERO truck could somehow pick her up—but being in the middle of morning traffic, three lanes from the divider and an impossible distance from any safe haven . . . . I wasn’t holding out much hope.

Fast-forward to a late lunch, 2 o’clock. I was driving back to the office, listening to Clark Howard on the radio. One of his callers was asking a question, and I heard a cat meowing in the background. When Clark answered and I could still hear the cat, I knew something outlandish was afoot. The kitten from this morning was up in my wheel well!

Somehow, against all odds, this kitten saw her tiny one or two second window of opportunity when I paused my car on 85, amidst rush-hour morning traffic. She boarded my vehicle and rode her way north to our offices! Hid in the wheel well until lunch time, then rode around town until I got back to the office.

She’s safe and is with a cat rescue woman.

This all happened today, Friday the 13th, and was a Black Cat!

Anybody need a very lucky Friday the 13th black cat?

I’m sorry, but did this girl not realize the ridicule she would get doing this?

If she wanted to show the world that fat girls can be Sexy Pole Dancers, it didn’t work. There’s a Ton a jokes I could make, so with a Large Butt, I won’t.