The guy was taking a morning walk with his Hi-Point 9mm handgun tucked in his waistband. (dumb idea #1).

As the walk continued, the gun slowly began to slide downward. Seeing another weapon in his pants, the gun angled itself for a better look.

“Once a Man” quickly grabbed the gun so it wouldn’t fall through his pant leg. (dumb idea #2). In his haste his trigger finger found it’s rightful place and as “Once a Man” pulled out the gun it did what a gun will do……..

!!!! BANG !!!!

And that is the last thing
he’ll ever pull out of his pants.

 

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Apeman Jeremie, wearing a gorilla suit, was walking around a neighborhood in Louisiana. Evidently he has missed lunch and his hunger became unbearable. He started looking into houses hoping to find bananas. Finally, he decided to break into house. Hearing someone entering the house he hid under a mattress.

Later, when the home’s family had gone to bed, Little Tommy of the family went running to his parents bedroom screaming “There’s a gorilla under my bed!”. They told Little Tommy to go back to bed and that there’s nothing under his bed.

The next morning mom and dad couldn’t find Little Tommy. All they found were banana peels under his bed.

So remember parents……..

Always listen to your children.

A 28-year-old South African endured a rare case of “penile strangulation” after squeezing a wedding ring around his sex organ during an unusual wedding ceremony.

The unnamed man apparently had become so in love with his entertainment organ that he wanted to marry it.

Unfortunately the ring caused the man’s new Bride to swell up so much that he was unable to use it to consummate the union.

When the Groom’s Best Man brought him to a hospital in Limpopo four hours after, his penis was erect and blue, according to doctors.

At first, doctors tried to cut the ring off with a tiny surgical saw, but that failed because the swelling made it difficult to get close to the ring without causing further injury.

When asked why he wanted to marry his penis, he replied that after many years of intimate happiness he knew he was in love and just couldn’t love anyone or anything else.

He now resides in the Limpopo Mental Hospital for the Incurable Stupid.

A dog named Shotgun was arrested after he shot his owner with a rifle.

 

The Munich administrative court on Tuesday dismissed the dog’s argument that he was driven to madness by the owner.

 

The court ruled that Shotgun couldn’t be trusted “because it must be assumed that he will make the attempt in future.”

Shotgun is appealing the ruling. He argued that he was being tortured by the owner. He told the court that after 5 years of Kibbles & Bits® he had enough. He had begged for Alpo but to no avail. Although sympathetic, the court denied the appeal.

The owner, whose name wasn’t released, is considering moving to another city without Shotgun.

A Stroke of Genius

Posted: May 25, 2017 in Uncategorized

To Grandmother’s House He Came. . . . . . . .

Tristan Tucker of St. Albans had a hard time finding a girlfriend. And couldn’t even find a place to exercise his man muscle. He finally did find one place.

Tristan Tucker

Tucker-No-Fucker would frequent his Grandmama’s house when she was not home. It was his own pleasure palace.

In one hand he watched videos on his cell phone of adults having fun. The other hand was ready for a workout.

During one of his entertainment sessions, he noticed that Grandmama had security cameras all over the place. Spurting out of the chair he torn down the cameras, destroyed them, and into the river they went.

Satisfied that no-one would know or see what he had come there to do, he continued.

But even a genius can make a mistake . . . . . . .
The DVR was left untouched.

Caught and booked, he found himself in a very sticky situation.

https://rumble.com/embed/vdan7/

Source: Hilarious shampoo prank at the beach by RobbyTv on Rumble

former Playboy model’s son committed suicide after seeing the latest magazine’s photo spreads of “Playmates of Yesterday”.
His mother, Inogud Ustabhot, had appeared as the
Playmate of the Month in December of 1952.
In the small town of Gloryhole, Utah her son, Bendafeel Ustabhot became the center of attraction after the magazine hit the News Stands.
Bendafeel Ustabhot lost his job, his wife left him, and his 3 year old dog ran away.
Due to the nature of the photo and Big Brother Government restrictions we must provide this disclaimer: Only scroll down if you understand this may cause permanent phycological scarring. CAUTION!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MissDecember.jpgWe still don’t know why his dog ran away……….