Pets and Ass By Daniel Lopez Stand-Up Comedian

Ran across this guy yesterday. Why am I promoting another Humor Blog?

Because his humor is weird funny. Not for everyone. Only some (you know who you are)

From his Blog

Why are you so AWESOME and I SUCK?!

 

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A Public Service Message….

How Did the Fight Start?

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it….. he was a DWARF!!!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and yells, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!”

So I look down at him and ask,

“Well then which one are you?”

And that’s how the fight started.

Great News For Georgia’s Death Row

Georgia has stopped all lethal injection executions because one of the drugs used was found to cause liver damage.

 

OMG! It’s Valentine’s Day?

It’s Valentine’s Day and you didn’t get anything for your……… well, whatever you got.

So here ya go. Copy, print, and give to your special whatever.

Hope all goes well……….

 

 

A Man Has to Know His Limitations

Man Tells Police He Wasn’t ‘Good At The Robbery Thing’

Stewart Charles McNeal, 34, turned himself in for the robbery of a donut store after seeing surveillance photos of himself everywhere.

McNeal entered the store wearing a mask. Cops said he waited in line for several minutes before going up to the counter with a gun in hand.

The clerk ignored him and attended to another customer.

Finally McNeal pulled off his mask and continued to wait for the employee to acknowledge him so he could commence with the robbery.

McNeal told police when he saw photos of himself everywhere, he figured the jig was up and turned himself in.

He said the robbery was strictly to feed his drug habit.

Well now……. There’s always a silver lining in bad things that happen.

First:

While in prison he will be able to continue with his drug habit doing magic “tricks” for the other guests.

Second:

Now that he’ll be attending The University of Crime, he will get better at “The Robbery Thing”.

Good luck, Stewie

 

Happy Halloween