Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Man Tells Police He Wasn’t ‘Good At The Robbery Thing’

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Stewart Charles McNeal, 34, turned himself in for the robbery of a donut store after seeing surveillance photos of himself everywhere.

McNeal entered the store wearing a mask. Cops said he waited in line for several minutes before going up to the counter with a gun in hand.

The clerk ignored him and attended to another customer.

Finally McNeal pulled off his mask and continued to wait for the employee to acknowledge him so he could commence with the robbery.

McNeal told police when he saw photos of himself everywhere, he figured the jig was up and turned himself in.

He said the robbery was strictly to feed his drug habit.

Well now……. There’s always a silver lining in bad things that happen.

First:

While in prison he will be able to continue with his drug habit doing magic “tricks” for the other guests.

Second:

Now that he’ll be attending The University of Crime, he will get better at “The Robbery Thing”.

Good luck, Stewie

 

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I’ve been in many locker rooms and showers while playing sports and I can testify that the “Black Man Myth” is just that, a myth.

That was until I ran across this story.

 

An Australian film crew stumbled upon this young lady while filming in southern Ethiopia. Apparently enlarging your mouth is a way of attracting a husband.

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So let me get this straight. In order to get a man and satisfy him you have to stretch your mouth so it’s the size of the Grand Canyon.

I must say, the Myth is true! At least in Ethiopia. I mean, MY GOD. If that mouth size is needed I can only imagine the size of Mister Happy.

I wonder though how the women control the “Gag Reflex”

 

There Is One Very Happy Boy In Texas.

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Felicia Smith (alias Fellatio) a 42-year-old teacher performed a “full contact” lap dance on a middle school boy celebrating his 15th birthday in February in front of his Texas classmates.As he sat in a chair next to Fellatio’s desk she moved back and forth on his crotch and touched him all over his body. Then sank to her knees and put her head between his legs hence her new nickname, Fellatio. The student admitted that he spanked Fellatio’s buttocks a couple of times. Oh Mama!As music played, Fellatio said “I love you, baby. Happy Birthday. A birthday he will never forget.

Now I ask you. Why do this for FREE? My God woman, have you no sense of Capitalism?

She was consequently removed from teaching.

Will the mother of the president please stand up.

On second thought…..

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Yes. it’s true. The vivacious and mother of our Presidential Messiah apparently is not the Virgin Mary reincarnated.

 

Photo Timeline: High School Photo > After That > Getting Ready > Wild Thing!

 

In the middle bottom photo I can’t tell if the other person is a man or woman. Either way, No Way. The last is apparently her as a Christmas gift. I think I see a Christmas tree and gifts in the background.

 

I just hope it was returnable.

 

Thanks to Last American Patriots for ruining my dinner.

 

So much for, “Cum here often?”

GroinPain_CGentil Ramirez , alias Genital Raminherz, of Gigante (real name), Colombia, took so much Viagra that he ended up needing surgery on his penis.

While multiple media outlets initially reported that the 66-year-old’s penis was amputated, Ramirez told Colombian newspaper La Nacion Thursday that his manhood is still intact.

He wanted to impress his wife, so he took far more of the blue pills than recommended. He had an erection for several days before he sought medical attention.

Doctors say that his penis was inflamed, fractured, and infected with gangrene. The mangled member required invasive surgery in order to keep gangrene from spreading to the rest of his body.

Nevertheless, Ramirez “is recovering well,” doctors told La Nacion.

Recovering Well?

Holy S#$T, the guy almost lost the one thing most important to a man!

His wife still has not been able to walk. Though doctors were able to do a pelvic exam using only a flashlight.

Ruben Chance James Fox and his wife, Amber Nicole Fox, have brought new meaning to “Doggie Style”.

Man_DogPorn Woman_DogPorn Apparently their sex life was getting boring, so they decided on a three-some. Unfortunately for the third-party, it was their dog! On top of that, they shot a video of the tryst. “Anything you can ever imagine a man and a woman doing to each other, she was having the dogs do,” Raeford Police Chief Franklin Crumpler remarked. They faced charges of bestiality, conspiracy and disseminating obscene materials, with Amber Fox facing an additional charge of soliciting a crime against nature.

Crime Against Nature, huh. You guys better stop eyeing the knot holes in trees!

The video is not available. It has been buried in the backyard.