Archive for the ‘Dumb Criminal’ Category

Man Tells Police He Wasn’t ‘Good At The Robbery Thing’

n-STEWART-CHARLES-MCNEAL-large

Stewart Charles McNeal, 34, turned himself in for the robbery of a donut store after seeing surveillance photos of himself everywhere.

McNeal entered the store wearing a mask. Cops said he waited in line for several minutes before going up to the counter with a gun in hand.

The clerk ignored him and attended to another customer.

Finally McNeal pulled off his mask and continued to wait for the employee to acknowledge him so he could commence with the robbery.

McNeal told police when he saw photos of himself everywhere, he figured the jig was up and turned himself in.

He said the robbery was strictly to feed his drug habit.

Well now……. There’s always a silver lining in bad things that happen.

First:

While in prison he will be able to continue with his drug habit doing magic “tricks” for the other guests.

Second:

Now that he’ll be attending The University of Crime, he will get better at “The Robbery Thing”.

Good luck, Stewie

 

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Ruben Chance James Fox and his wife, Amber Nicole Fox, have brought new meaning to “Doggie Style”.

Man_DogPorn Woman_DogPorn Apparently their sex life was getting boring, so they decided on a three-some. Unfortunately for the third-party, it was their dog! On top of that, they shot a video of the tryst. “Anything you can ever imagine a man and a woman doing to each other, she was having the dogs do,” Raeford Police Chief Franklin Crumpler remarked. They faced charges of bestiality, conspiracy and disseminating obscene materials, with Amber Fox facing an additional charge of soliciting a crime against nature.

Crime Against Nature, huh. You guys better stop eyeing the knot holes in trees!

The video is not available. It has been buried in the backyard.

s-ANGELA-SPECKER-largeWell, apparently I’m wrong.

Florida woman, Angela Specker, thought a nice gesture would be to slash her one night stand with a knife!

Police say she took $100 in exchange for sex. Unfortunately for the “John”, she wasn’t thrilled by his performance. She didn’t like the way he treated her while hooking. She claimed the victim slapped her and pulled her hair during sex. When he was “finished,” he threw $100 at her and left, she claimed.

I’m surprised she was worth that much.

He should have just taken her to dinner and left it at that.

You’re Supposed To Shoot Your Wad, Not Shoot The Wad Maker!!!!

Saturday was a bad day for Tavares Donnell Colbert. The 36-year-old Oklahoma man accidentally shot himself in the genitals, and then got arrested for it.

He’s a convicted felon. No no to having a gun!

Cops met up with Colbert — a convicted drug dealer out of Watonga — at a hospital at about 9 a.m. Colbert allegedly told officers that he found the gun somewhere in Kansas and had plans to sell it at a convenience store.

When he pulled over his truck that morning to make sure the gun worked, he found out that it did. He took a round to his groin, panicked and drove to the hospital.

This is one dumb MF!!!!

This man was trying to be the Perfect Environmentalist.

A man was repeatedly returning used enema saline laxatives to CVS, according to a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office news release.

The suspect returned the six-pack containers of enemas between April and June, according to the release. CVS employees told police they had initially re-shelved the items during this period, not realizing they had been used.

Eventually, in early June, employee Dustin McDonald found it bizarre that the man – whom he recognized from previous visits – was again bringing back the same item, and decided to investigate. He opened the box of enema bottles to find they were all filled with fluid. The box had apparently been re-glued to make it look like it hadn’t been opened.

The curious employee then poked into other six-pack enema boxes on the shelf and discovered that ““all the enemas in each of the 3 boxes were previously used,”. Each of these containers was similarly re-glued shut.

Despite this unsettling discovery, McDonald reportedly did not alert authorities until the dissatisfied enema customer attempted to strike again, the release said. This time, McDonald informed the suspect that he could not accept the used items and contacted the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

The suspect has been identified, the news release said, and has been arrested by deputies for an unrelated outstanding warrant.

The sheriff’s department sent samples of the fluid in the bottles to the Florida Department of Health for testing. Fecal matter was, indeed, detected.

Wow! Shit was found. Who would of thought?

Head Banger Burglar

Posted: June 27, 2012 in Dumb Criminal

I swear, I was just walking along and this door grabbed me. Then it stuck my head under it!

Manuel Fernandes allegedly attempted to rob a Rent-A-Center in Brockton, Mass., and instead he had nine hours of his life stolen from him.

Police say that Fernandes, 54, tried to prop up the overhead garage door using a metal bedpost so he could shimmy underneath and rob the place.

This was around midnight Tuesday, but, unfortunately for him, Fernandes got his head stuck under the door and was forced to lay with his right cheek on the dirty floor for about nine hours until assistant manager John Rodriguez found him.

“I happened to walk in and he was there,” Rodriguez said.. “I saw that little head sticking out.”

The assistant manager then started taking videos for evidence and his own amusement.

Now that’s using your head!

Unfortunately, the videos were not available at press time.

Hey Idiot! How Stupid Are You?

“Uh, let’s see. If I put my arm in the magic hole where soda cans come out, I can get one FREE!!!!!”

A 17-year boy in National City, Calif., learned the hard way that crime doesn’t pay after attempting to steal a soda and getting his arm stuck in the vending machine.

On Saturday morning the teen, whose name was not released, allegedly reached inside the receiving slot of the vending machine near a trolley station, according to NBC San Diego. Then, his arm got caught inside and was stuck until a trolley rider saw him trapped and called the police.

Police, firefighters, paramedics and trolley security all arrived on the scene. The firefighters attempted to free the alleged soda-napper using axes, crowbars and an air chisel.

He never did get the soda.