In the Henry Ford Hospital a Detroit man Bimmel Knitter, 53, was successfully wakened from a coma of twelve years using an experimental treatment.
The experimental treatment is being kept secret until further trials are conducted.
But through my investigation I have uncovered the secret. It’s Knitter’s best friend, Barry Johnson, a Hooker, Crack, and Black Sabbath.
“Every birthday for the past twelve years I bring in a hooker to give him a five-dollar blowjob, a hit of crack and put on some Black Sabbath to cheer him up and give him a reason to come back to life,” Johnson told reporters.
Evidently for eleven years this “treatment” didn’t work. But on number twelve Barry found the High Priestess of Blow Jobs and damn good crack. Ozzy certainly was a bonus.
I just love heart filled stories, don’t you?
RidiculousHumor 