Posts Tagged ‘vacation’

Police Stake Out Cayman Islands For Serial Sex Maniac Dolphin

When I go scuba diving, the only “Wild” I would want is another diver, human female preferred.

A frisky dolphin who swims near the Cayman Islands apparently has the hots for humans, as a shocking new video amply demonstrates.

The dolphin — who has been nicknamed “Stinky the Loner Dolphin” — has one purpose in mind: “Getting busy” with scuba divers.


A 30-year-old woman with a history of bulimia swallowed a knife while demonstrating that she no longer had a gag reflex for friends, according to the New England Journal of Medicine.

The patient told doctors that she was holding the knife partially down her throat when something made her laugh, causing the utensil to slide into her esophagus, as seen in X-ray images.

Next time, use the knife to cut some meat you moron!

And The Pussy Stayed With Him All The Way Back To The Office!

OK, this is a true story. Funny and weird as hell. The guy is a co-worker. Here’s his story.

This morning on my drive to work, I was shocked to see a little black kitten in the middle of 85-North. This was during normal morning-rush-hour traffic—six lanes of cars packed tight and moving briskly and steadily toward the downtown Atlanta exits. I couldn’t believe my eyes! She was walking in the middle of the middle lane. I slowed way down, with cars honking and maneuvering around me. I couldn’t afford to stop for more than a second or two, unsure of what to do (I couldn’t stop and get out, or there would be an accident). Then I slowly moved forward, hoping my car was moving over her, rather than—well, rather than moving over her. I called 911 to report a live animal on 85. It was very unnerving. The best I could hope for was a nearby police officer or HERO truck could somehow pick her up—but being in the middle of morning traffic, three lanes from the divider and an impossible distance from any safe haven . . . . I wasn’t holding out much hope.

Fast-forward to a late lunch, 2 o’clock. I was driving back to the office, listening to Clark Howard on the radio. One of his callers was asking a question, and I heard a cat meowing in the background. When Clark answered and I could still hear the cat, I knew something outlandish was afoot. The kitten from this morning was up in my wheel well!

Somehow, against all odds, this kitten saw her tiny one or two second window of opportunity when I paused my car on 85, amidst rush-hour morning traffic. She boarded my vehicle and rode her way north to our offices! Hid in the wheel well until lunch time, then rode around town until I got back to the office.

She’s safe and is with a cat rescue woman.

This all happened today, Friday the 13th, and was a Black Cat!

Anybody need a very lucky Friday the 13th black cat?

Next time you men ask to have your balls sucked or nibbled, make sure you’re with a woman, or a man not a pacu!

The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds, has been spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois.

Responding to a report that a fisherman had reeled in a piranha on June 7, lake superintendent Jim Caldwell brought the fish to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, where it was identified as a pacu. Some reports say another pacu was seen a couple of weeks later.

According to British fisherman Jeremy Wade, the pacu is known as the “ball cutter.” In 2011, Wade said locals informed him that two fisherman had died from blood loss after something in the water had bitten off their testicles.

“The locals told me that this thing was like a human in the water, biting at the testicles of fishermen,” Wade said. Wade determined that the perpetrator was the pacu, which is known for having human-like teeth.